Help with a father-daughter relationship

Stacy asks about her relationship with her father. She says, "Recently my father has made some decisions that I am struggling with and they are so severe in their consequences that I am unsure how to continue in my relationship with him. I want to discuss these decisions and my feelings about them with him, but I struggle to find the words and my place in it. In the meantime, I feel anger, sadness, disconnection, betrayal, and shame for and about him. I am concerned that the gap between us is getting wider but unsure how to proceed. Your words and wisdom are gratefully welcome, as always."

Blessed child. He is in a time of great growing and learning and healing. The gap is not getting wider--it is just that the words are getting limited. For this one reacts as a child would, a young child back when a lot of trauma occurred. And so, he is very much not accepting. Words won't be accepted, or if he says the wrong thing he will go away completely. This is all because he is very, very tender of heart.

Now then, little one, step out of your life and see who you are See how bold you are and how strong. How perfectly radiant. You know you’ve held so many hands that were in a time of great turmoil, and you were strong and beautiful. Hold your own hand. Speak to this man as a man, a troubled being that has many difficulties in finding out who he is. In many ways, what you went through, is what he is going through.

Seek to help him. Speak words of love and concern. Draw him in to the love of who you be. I know it is difficult--child to father, father to child. An old promise; I cannot tell you what it is. And yes, you are right to know that it is not complete.

You are right to feel anxious that he is drifting away. He is not. He is filled with fear. He is walking and being someone that is not him. But he is wearing it well and fooling a great number. He has been able to do this a long time. A chameleon, he can put on whatever is necessary at the time to fill the bill so that he can escape through the back door. You know this about him and still you have persisted to love him for you know the spirit of this being.

Speak words of love, not judgment. For what you want with this being is a relationship of truth. Now remember, If his choice is to be and open up to you, this is his choice. You can only be responsible for yours. Be prepared, be strong. You might at first hear what a child would hear, scolding and negativity. But you are an amazingly, brilliant being, and if you want this relationship, then you must be the strong one at this time. If you choose just to be the radiant light you are, and understand that your true responsibility is only of your own actions, and your own choices, then be at peace with that my child, for you owe this one nothing.

The development of the promise lies within his hands. I don’t know if you knew that. But you are a healer. Deep within your being you want all beings to be at peace and happy. It weighs deep on you that there is anyone in your path that has difficulties. Those around you might have an answer for it, but you are a tender soul. Evolved beings never have a lifetime of ease. But then, these wouldn’t be all growing. My love to you.

The heart's voice in a love relationship

PF asks, "Why does b.b.r. choose to ignore his feelings for me. His behavior has been extremely confusing and I am having difficulty letting it all go. I think some of his choices have to do with money and social status. Some insight will help greatly and would be deeply appreciated. Thank you."


Perhaps if both of you would stop trying to be someone you are not, there could be some truth. But each is so concerned about not allowing the other to see the whole of who they be. There is nothing to hide, my dearest one. This is what causes the difficulties. Truth, hand to hand, heart to heart. This is what you need to do. Have moments of truth. Speak from your heart, not from your mind. That would be less talking, more action.

Would this be good advice for everyone in a relationship?

Always when there is a relationship of love, it is very important to remember the voice of the heart. Sometimes it gets buried underneath so many different platitudes, and attitudes, understandings and theories, that is what has happened here: too much thinking, not enough heart. My love to you.

Advice on overcoming guilt and negativity

Mary asks about guilt. She says, "I am very much in need of advice about guilt. Would you please teach me how to deflect it. I find it is often used as an emotional manipulative tool. I do not wish to absorb it or hold it as pain in my body. Thank you."

She doesn’t understand that guilt comes from within her. Nobody can deflect something that you stir up within yourself. There is some part of her that feels she needs to beat herself about things and this what she needs to address. What a being says to you and does to you is up to them. It is their choice. And dear one it is your choice to allow to affect you or not. Ask yourself, "Does this affect me? Am I a horrible person?" If you choose to believe that about yourself, then you will create guilt.

Guilt has many reasons. It is not necessarily one of the greatest working parts of the physical world. It is supposed to be about responsibility and choices, not about debts and great weights that you need to carry around forever. This is all about a choice. It is about the old patterns you needs to release yourself from.

Dear Mary, no one is pointing at you; you are pointing at yourself. So the only person who can stop this, is you. You are a beautiful being, a very enlightened being now seeing truly the tasks and the needs for others to say and do certain things. Love them.

If you think of it as a deflection, pour love to them from your heart. You will not be so needing of being guilty if you are busy loving someone else--even those that are so much needing to have all of the attention. You don’t need to verbally love them; you could just pour it from your very center of your being. Fill that space that might be negative with love--love for yourself and love for others.

Every time you feel that twisting tightness that you would call guilt, go into it, relax, think of something most beautiful about the being that you may feel is trying to affect you with guilt. Or about yourself. And then, when the calmness pours over you and you feel yourself filled with light and love, take a deep, deep nursing breath and say “I am perfect.”

That is good advice advice. So often, we carry certain ideas with us of how we are supposed to be.

Yes, I spoke to you about these great religions clashing--it is all that dogma. It is all filtered down now to be big saddle bags that everyone is carrying around, full of stuff that doesn’t fit in their time and their generation. You know, there are entire cultures of people that carry great negativities from hundreds of years previous. What nonsense!

Yes, I see that and they are fighting over them and killing each other.

Yes, what nonsense. It is not even from their time. Remember to stay in the moment. We will speak it to you over and over again. To be present in the life you are in now, to see it, to witness it. To understand you are a piece of perfection. Everything around you is to feed that perfection and make it shine even more.

Who in the heck cares if your grandfather was a... who knows what... and did whatever. All you need to know about him is that he gave you some nice genetics, although sometimes even that has been altered in your world. Bless the physical world and accept it for what it is. It has some weaknesses because it is supposed to--but it is for you to enjoy.

Joanna's comment:
This response is from a guide that calls himself the professor. He has a very down-to-earth way of talking about things. The part where he asks who cares what your grandfather did is quite amusing to me. We keep hearing about the choices we have in responding to what takes place in our life. Good advice here about staying in the moment and extending love.

The feeling of reuniting with one from past lives

Brooke asks about her boyfriend. She says, "It's a hard thing to describe but our relationship is so... dimensional. I feel like I gave birth to him... And I have a motherly love for him and at the same time he keeps me grounded like a father. He has this energy when I am around him that makes all my thoughts go away. It's a feeling of "everything is going to be alright." It's comforting. It feels like nothing can touch us, we are so strong together. We don't argue, we don't question anything. We just do it. And we both just know that this isn't something people come across everyday. I'm wondering what this is called. Is this a soul mate? Is it someone from a past life? It feels like we are one person."

This is true. They are not one person, but definitely, this being has been with this one in many lifetimes, 24 actually. They have met on many occasions and shared many promises.

Dear one, do not think for one moment that there will not be difficulties in this relationship. There will be, for there are promises at hand again. And also, do not expect because there is deep love that there won’t be high emotions one way or the other. Beings that have known each other for many, many lifetimes can have complicated relationships. They can be involving many people. They have promises together. Yes, you have been together before.

It is not surprising that you feel you have mothered and fathered. Yes, it is true, you have. It is not time to analyse these things at this point. Perhaps in time. Allow this reunion to mature before you go into too many details of what was. Remember, there is a reason you have come be together again. And rejoice and celebrate it. In fact, my dear, you need to celebrate the moment.

You think a great deal. You work very hard at thinking different things. Celebrate just being. That feeling when you can’t think, allow it to be. It is good.

Thank you. I'll pass these words on to Brooke.

Interesting that we often have more complicated relationships with people that we've been with many times before. I hadn't thought of that before. There is always a reason for coming together again. I love the idea of celebrating the moment. Good advice for us all.

Michael Jackson and imbalances in our world

Jane and I had been talking about Michael Jackson and about how there has been such interest and so much media attention right now on this one man. We had also been talking about chaos in the world and old and new souls. So I asked the guides if they could comment on it. Here is the response. It goes beyond just one man's death into our ways of learning in the world. As always, Joanna's words are in blue and the guide's words are in black text.

It is said that once he saw the light, there is no coming back. That he truly shines now in a way you would not understand. As to his path in the physical world, it matters not. Only that it creates growth for others. And truly a great amount is at hand now.

Of growth for others?

Yes. He will make peace with his own in that that he does as well. So worry not of him, but understand that those who are still in the realm of the physical world are now making choices.

It has been said to you that you do not know the true fullness of your life until you pass over and you have time to see all of the effects of it. It takes some amount of your physical time. This is the state that he is in right now--sheer bliss. And there is so much to see that he has created. You might think there is a lot of negativity, but not all.

So we were talking earlier about an imbalance in the world with new souls and old souls. What is the most important thing for us to pay attention to, to help in this time of imbalance.

Know that each and every one is important; no being less important then another, not the ancient, not the brand-new. That each being grows, and chooses, and evolves, responsible to their own actions. This is what the physical world is for: to use it to slip into a body, to use that body to create life equivalent to the light that you be. To learn how to express the spirit in all actions, whether you be an artist of many forms, a creator of things, of structures. To put your sense of the wonder into the physical world to teach others and choose and manifest love in this way.

The imbalance that is created is because great growth happened. By some moving forward very quickly in the physical body (which is quite an unusual situation). It will often precipitate war and all manners of chaos. As you know by your history, great growth often occurs after these things, so it teaches.

It is not doomed. It is not the end. The physical world will always be, for it is created to teach. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care for your world, for your water, for your air. But you must care for yourself first and nourish it with the best. To have a life, a gift of a body that you give yourself, it is good--mother energy, Tao, whatever you wish to call it. It is.

Thank you for these amazing words. I will pass them on.

Moving beyond trauma and pain

Pam wrote a comment on a post for a woman who was in an abusive relationship. Pam says, "I have never been in an abusive relationship, but I have been abused, both sexually and beaten physically...by a group of men who hated who/what I am. I have tried to hide much of what I am, and lived the best way I could in our society. Now that I have retired I am trying to allow more of myself to emerge, but I keep running into my own physical/psychological blocks. I hope there are spirit guides that can send me words even half as lovely as what they sent you." This is the guide's response:

You are a most enchanted being. You now have time to be that that you are, you see. And yet, at the same time, you are afraid to be all of what you are. Of course, now is the time you are going to see and feel many of the things that have occurred to you. It is a time of maturation of the soul, or bringing together all that was and integrating it into your being. And parts of you, you do not want to integrate into who you are. And so, you struggle, and you waste your energy holding it away from you. Dear heart, it is time to talk about that that occurred, time to talk to one who will not judge you. One who will not put you into some category, or label you in some way. It is time to honour and love your being for its survival ability, for its great strength.

You have not even yet begun to do many of the things you have come to do. You have been filling the needs of other beings for such a long time. You are probably feeling quite adrift in what it even is that makes you feel happy, my blessed one. And so, to the task at hand, to heal your being, to see it all in all of its amazingness.

Know that every being has a part of them at one point that they thought was quite unattractive or unlovable. But in time, they understood that that was what made them even more lovable. The strongest and greatest of beings are also the weakest and the most gentle.

Know this about yourself, my blessed one. You have been walking in shoes that were not yours-- and now you do not know what shoes to wear. But do not be afraid to see all of the different styles that you might be. Love yourself my child, for you are very lovable. And welcome into your life those that wish to be with you. You’ve held many at a distance.

You are a blessed being. And in time, when you are ready, you are going to see clearly how brilliantly beautiful you are.

Thank you. I will pass these words on to Pam.

There is a process in your physical world that your psychiatry and your psychology has almost got to the understanding of. That is why I spoke to you about all of this big shift, this upheaval, the overturn and it's going to mess everything up for a while. But it is important, it is like a renaissance, a resurrection. You don’t need to march around holding crosses and all of that. It is just about deep thinking, taking time to think, to see yourself in this whole picture. There's an understanding, a knowing of what has occurred to you, that often needs to be verbalized before it is totally understood. So that you can all stand outside of yourself and see it all. Yes, it may have been horrific and horrible but you grew and that is the most amazing thing. Perhaps in the growing you will attain some parts that were not so perfect. But in the seeing of it, you may say I won’t take that on, I don’t need to carry that any more. You see, much of your understanding of the healing of traumas is just beginning to be understood completely. Yes, you must go to the trauma. but you must not stay there. You have to move forward--by seeing how wonderful you are.

So if there is something like that, we relive it in our mind?

You mustn’t go over and over it. You must take it to a time, to a place--whether it be speaking it with someone or to your own image in a mirror. Say it out loud: this happened to me, this is what I saw. See it in your own mind, visit it and then you can make a choice. When you truly see it all.... I admit some beings must see it many, many times. But some are receiving some place of identification by staying in that place of pain. Do you understand what I am saying to you? And then that pain becomes them, instead of who they are. The traumatic or terrifying thing becomes who they are. And that is not forward moving.

Do you have to go into the body's feeling of it to release it?

Sometimes, but not for all beings. It is individual. But you must visit it, you must see who you are completely. You cannot fantasize that everything is perfect if it isn’t. If underneath there is a great wound that is festering and not healing and not being looked at. If you can see the wound and say: yes, there is a big ugly wound there but I am fine with it now--then you are moving ahead. It does not mean you accept what happened, it means you accept how great you are.

Thank you. That is very helpful--to many people I think.

These ideas about going into the pain and experiencing it and working through it often come up when the guides talk about healing. There seems to be a need to integrate it into your spirit before you can step forward on your path. Often finding someone non-judgmental who will allow you to talk about it can help this process.

Advice for success in a business venture

Jan Jan writes, "Thank you, thank you. I posted my comment last year and then forgot all about it--life got hectic, events happened, all the usual 'stuff' that we allow to hinder us. Today I clicked on the link in my favourites for your website and there facing me was the answer to that comment made months ago.

Why today? Why now should that answer be there right in front of me? It validates all that I have been told in the past recent months, things that my guides and angels have sent me messages about. Now when I am wavering after coming to the conclusion that there is no need for me to try and be everything, that I have done all that I came here to do, anything else now is a bonus.

I am happy with this life I chose despite its many hurdles. I love being who I am--and yet there is the feeling of something more. I keep getting glimpses, flashes that rush quickly by, I can't quite grasp them. I am mixing with a different set of people now, all spiritually minded. Before I would have envied them their gifts and abilities; now I have this awareness that I have no need of being like them. Now I am just here for the sheer enjoyment of the ride. But the human failing of doubt crept in, with a touch of fear thrown in for good measure. It makes me wonder if my life would have been different if I had seen the information all those months ago or whether I wasn't meant to read at that moment in time. Thank you again for the validation.

If there is any additional messages with regard to a small business venture I have just entered that would be very much appreciated. I am unsure as to how much input to put in. Blessings to you both.

This dear one has answered her own question. She is a very beautiful being, full of light. She doesn’t like to be wrong, she doesn’t like to make mistakes. Oh, perhaps at one time you might have even said she had a bit of a control issue. But now she is evolving most beautifully. Yes, she is allowing her path to open and it is right for her to try on different things at this time. For she has grown and changed and is a much more brilliant being then she was before.

To not expect... well, that is not perhaps the best attitude in which to launch into a new business. One must visualize, one must dream how it should be and one must put all of one’s joy into it. She is already reserved on how much she will put into it, so she has already created doubt.

She is doing well. She knows what she is doing. Love to her.

Jan Jan, thank you for your post and for your blessings. We have found that often the answer appears when the person is ready to hear it. So perhaps it is all good that you only discovered it recently.

It's interesting what the guides say about your business venture. So often we restrict our possibility for success because we think small, fearing to fail. I love the idea of putting joy into a new venture. This is good advice for all of us. Thank you for asking this question.

Can healing occur if a person doesn't want to be healed?

Rachel asks if it is possible for a healer to heal another persons physical ailment - even if the person does not truly want be healed. She says, "If the person says they want to be healed but deep down really doesn't want to, can there be healing?"

There are so many different forms of what you call healing. Sending love and energy to a being, always does a certain positive thing. If you are trying to be conditional about it, that will limit it of course. If a being does not want to be healed then they must fulfill their own needs.

But you might actually affect it a great deal by sending then healing, unconsciously to them. In time, you might get the opportunity to speak it out loud--“I don’t believe you want to be healed. I believe you are using this to bring about some growth you need to be attentive to. What does this ailment bring to your attention? What does this part of your body say to you?”

You have so many theories in your world, but healing always works. It doesn’t always make a person live forever. It is not possible in your amazingly delicate physical plane. The need for the deterioration of your body is teaching. A need for some ailment, teaching, promises perhaps. But, always there is a purpose for everything. Healing is energy given unconditionally. To align their energies to help them, put them to the best work.

You cannot not do it if you are a healer just because a person doesn’t believe in it. You must do and be in your own truth and allow them theirs.

Fear about moving forward in uncertain times

Joy is feeling anxious about security for her family. She says, "During the last few years, my children and I have been through many challenges. The last few months have been especially difficult with many significant changes. So many question marks seem to hang over us and we are all feeling quite weary and anxious for some kind of sense of security. I have had to make some big decisions during this time and still have more to make. I worry about the impact this has all has had on us as a family, choices I need to make in regards to finding work or school for a new career direction, and also, keeping faith that life isn't always so hard. It is tough to reconcile all that has happened and to keep hope for a better future. "

Your fear is holding you back. You have all that you need to make choices--choices to move forward, to understand that there is a responsibility.

This young woman is fearful about her choices. She fears that she cannot make some, that she will in some way harm the children or their stability. She must understand the most constant thing in a physical lifetime is movement, change. It is being willing to be open and accept that that is presented. If one is filled with fear, one limits one’s ability to see that which is possible.

Movement is not something to fear my child. It is a good thing. It renews, it refreshes, it invigorates you. Make choices for that--choices of forward movement. Do not choose to go back to something that you know does not make you feel good. You know your truth within your being. Be not afraid my child. You are a strong, growing being. And the choices you have made to this degree, are perfect.

Each path has great work. That is why you choose to come. You have the ability to see. Do not limit yourself. There is great support all around you and allow your children to give to you. You sometimes overwhelm them in your need to give to them. In ways, see them strong and move forward.

Thank you. There is difficulty in our world to make choices to move forward that involve risk of not making enough money to support ourselves. I think this is a common concern.

There is much fear in the physical world. The fear itself draws that to you. For that is what you speak to your universe. If you fear you are asking more of it, then know that you are strong, that energy is particles, that the energies that is bound around you provide that what you ask for. It is not some childish fairy tale. It is truth. You are present in the physical domain to fulfill your promises, your tasks of learning. The abundance that is around you--whether it be the university of knowledge or great abundance--it is there. If you walk around believing it is not there, if you do not see it, you will not hold it, you will choose to look away from it. How to trust is to simply see how your world works, its cycles of renewal. Circles within circles.

You are going to see some very interesting things in your world. There is a rising up of the old, traditional belief systems that are going to clash against each other.

That sounds horrible.

Oh no. No, no, it won’t be the same, though it will have an element of negativity, of course. These things can be by the very young souls that choose to do the fighting. Your "new agers" are going to have a re-awakening. It is all about talking, communicating, needing to express. It is a huge promise in the physical world right now.

Communicating with spirit guides

Someone who didn't give a name asked, "How can I communicate better with the spirits. At times No. 14 has been used by the spirits to convey specific information and to indicate that there is misunderstanding or hesitation on understanding the message. Any tips?"

You try too hard the dearest one. It is often the path of least resistance. Let go. If you wish to choose one thing to be a sign or a symbol, those that surround you will abide by this. For their desire and great need is to have communion with you, in the growth of you--not for fun or recreation--but for your evolution. Sometimes this can be confused.

Choose or simply just trust that they are there. That way you will feel it and sense it and in time, the way will be made known to you. Communication with spirit is always there for you my child. Do you not remember when you were very small? Trust, my dearest one that you are not lost and this will be made clear to you.

Holding tight to a past relationship

Janette asks about a relationship that ended. She and her ex have talked about getting back together, but she is going away for six months and fears when she gets back it will be too late.

This dear one holds the idea of this man so close that she is not able to see him as he truly is. She is thinking more about her need to have him there.

Dearest Janette, in your time away, take time to truly see how you strong and brilliant you are. And see who he is as well. In many ways you were not happy. In many ways, you simply stifled many things you needed to be because of the relationship. Give yourself time and love, my dear, and do not worry about the back and forth. There is another, most definitely--a being of great light that will surprise you. You shall meet soon.

Bless you, my child, open your hands and cling not. Allow the love and light to flow through you. Thank him for that which was and forgive him for not being able to tell you the truth. And, love yourself my child.

Feeling one has been born into the wrong body

Pam wonders how to continue her journey feeling she has been born into the wrong body. She says, "I wonder if it is possible to become integrated, balanced and grow if I can't resolve feeling I have been born into the wrong body and my life has been one of trying to hide and stop hurting so much; it is also possible that I am too old for the journey...I just don't know."

Dearest one, you have achieved a place, a maturation of soul. This is the true understanding of who you be. And it can often collide with the body that you are in.

You see the gender of the body that you are born in, is truly an act of chance within the physical world. (Though I do believe that time will change, but at this point, it is an element of chance.) You didn’t choose to be one or the other. Thus, your spirit may be familiar with a different form. And so you may be unsure, or uncomfortable with this body that you have manifested. Love it, accept it, and be that that you are.

You have helped so many beings. You have hidden your need, your voice for a very long time and have allowed others their voice. It is your time.

There is no such thing as being too old my dear. You are talking to a being that is, well, a great deal older then you. For age is within the spirit. It is a vibrational rate of your being and you are an amazingly wonderful being. You are (as all are) a fracture of Mother Energy, God--and that is perfect.

Speak from your heart my child and trust that all that surround you love you. They do. Love yourself enough to be.

Thank you, I'll pass these words on to Pam.

Letting go of old beliefs and welcoming new ones

Nastassja says she doesn't know how to just be. She says, "I have recently become very aware of how things may really be, as opposed to what I've thought was fact my entire life. I keep reading and reading and reading, but I don't really know what to do as far as just being. I'm also having a hard time letting go of old beliefs and welcoming new ones. I have a lot of fears, including financial ones, that I KNOW I need to let go of, but I don't know how.

I guess I'm not really asking a question, but rather I am looking for a sign or something that tells me concretely that I really am a co-creator, I am eternal. That I'm not just wanting to believe in all of this so badly. (I can't tell what is my ego and what's real inside of me.) Thanks for your love and compassion.

Dearest Natasha, you worry enough to create sores on your being, my dearest one. You are so concerned to do the right thing that you fear life. Dearest one, trust in the knowledge that there is right and wrong and both are right. There will be choices that you make that may somewhat appear wrong, but for you they will be right. Seeking your truth--that that you be. How do you seek this my child? How do you understand what you want is your truth. You have thought of this what you need to be your truth, not necessarily so. Be present in your path. Be present in your life. Be present in your body.

What does this mean? It means feel it, see it, use all of the senses that the physical domain offers you to grow through, to learn to touch. Touch, taste, vision, hearing, a sense of smell... Being, is using all of these things with spirit. In other words, understanding the integration of your energy through the physical body manifesting its voice in our physical world, is your spiritual quest.

Whatever sign or issue you wish to use as your sign from the beings that surround you, choose it and it shall be used. In time, you will know the great truth of who you are. That you are wise beyond your physical age of your being. That you have knowledge that you have not read from a book, it is within. That guru, or teacher that you seek child, that you seek so hard to find in all of the books, in all of the ways, lies within you. You are a most beautiful being. It fills all those around you with great joy watching you. You have been a teacher in many ways and yet you have no knowledge of this. It is good that you do not just accept all things but seek, listen calmly, and hear. You seek for yourself; know that all great teachers do this. There is never just one place of being. It changes, grows and moves. Tomorrow you will be a different being then today. Your truth will change. Rejoice in who you are my dear because you are very wonderful. Bless you.

Communicating with the body

Catherine asked about healing her energy system. She says, "What is my body/energy system wanting to communicate to me so that I can get to the root of and heal what is blocking me from healing?"

Remember that you created this body, that the energies that move are you. That we are all vibrations, some moving slower, some parts quicker. The vibration is your spirit, or your energy voice, or your soul, whatever words you want to call it. It moves at a very high rate.

There is nothing blocking you from your body. You have understood concepts and ideals and feel there must be a certain ritual, or route to communicate with your body. When your body feels sad, feel it. You may in your conscious desire to have a picture, formulate such a picture or vision. But in truth, the communication with your body is through the emotions, your heart. For you so loved yourself that you created this body. This is why the blocks often confuse. Blocks can be issues of growth. They can be a need to be attended to. There are times, my child, when you have been over concerned about your body. Thus, it provided you with something to worry about.

Love your body, my child. Love your beautiful, beautiful chalice that holds the most magnificent energy--you. Radiate you through the very cells of your body and you shall have the health you need for your path.