Dearest one, you would not change loving. You are perfect in your journey to love and to find joy. Yes, you dream and have expectations. This being has great difficulties, you know this. He has inabilities to move forward and chooses to stay in a state that you could not be.
Do not erase any part of your brilliant path. You learned, you grew and the exchange of love helped another grow, not one you have known about. You have often helped many that you have not known about. Do not erase any part of you. You are magnificent: being human, feeling pain and trusting. Loving, laughing, crying--these are exquisite abilities always, not only in this time of physical experience. Be willing to thank yourself for allowing yourself to grow, allowing yourself to feel, and allowing yourself to move forward radiant and strong. I know you often make fun and laugh about it. You are richer, you having lost nothing. Bless you my child.