Saturday, January 17, 2009

Loving someone who withdraws from you



Tugi asks about a man she met through work. She says “He took a liking to me the instant we met. I always knew he felt a special connection to me even though he never expressed it overtly (perhaps because of the restrictions of our work relationship) but I did not know I had fallen in love with him until he started to create some distance between us. As it is, we do not talk and while I feel I have healed from a broken heart, I am still struggling to understand what it was all about.


She asks, “What was the point or the 'spiritual contract' of our meeting? I have a difficult time imagining that we will ever recover the kind of closeness and connection that we had before it all fell apart. Thank you.”

There is great thanks for her to be the love that she is, to be open, to be ever-willing to love. To understand that all promises are not always held up, or completed by all beings. Her choice was to move forward with this, but she cannot control the other being’s choice, or his growth.

Speak to her that she has done very well. The love will always be there for her for this is what she chooses. The disappointment should be soothed knowing that she did exactly as she needed to do, To not close down, to stay open.

She does not understand the fears and the elements that are yet to be growth for him. She must trust that which is, that she can love and she has loved.

Thank you.