Lauren asks if she should try for more financial support from her ex-husband. She has been ill and hasn't been able to work. She doesn't want to be a financial burden to her children and wonders if she should revisit the divorce settlement.
This one is filled with anger. Tell her that she needs to take some time to heal her being. She searches in many direction to make her inner being feel right, feel at peace. She never allows it to move forward. She is in a state of no growth. She feels that there are burdens and hurdles in every direction, that she is limited. Her being, her body has even created a state where she cannot move forward. She needs to take time to heal her being, to go to the centre of her being, to understand what it is that speaks to her. This angst, this anxiousness, this fear that lies deep within her.
How does she do that?
This one needs to be heard. She tries desperately to speak of this but doesn't feel heard. She is afraid of burdening others. Tell her to find a trusted being, one that will not judge but one that will reflect her true sense. And to speak of all that she has and has been through. To speak to the very depths of the tears that need to be shed. To heal from the very deep part of her soul.
It's almost as if she has been through a war and is now shell-shocked. She is unable to understand the great pain that she has felt. It is something that she cannot unburden herself from and is trying in many ways to do so. If she heals from this, and takes the time to do so, she will have no difficulty asking of her world for the support she needs. But every time she does now she burdens herself deeper and deeper, making this deep injury greater and greater. Love of self is part of this. Oh, she needs someone to hold her, to love her, and she keeps everybody at a distance for she is in such deep pain. She is seeking this but not in the right direction. Tell her to continue seeking this and she will find her truth by healing. She is not burdening people; they want to help her, but she needs to find the one to help her that will not...well, she is otside of herself, judging herself.
So would it be a friend that she should talk to or should she seek a counselor of some sort?
At first it would be best to seek a counselor, someone who is non-judgmental. Someone who will help her to embrace herself. And as she grows in love for herself...almost as if she could put a mirror up. There is something in the physical world about hearing yourself, seeing and witnessing your own life...then she will find compassion for her being, and love it. At first a counsellor, and then she will start to love her being, and grow, and move forward. She is very angry with herself and needs to find a love for self again and not the anger. The pain, the hurt, the fear is all mixed up within her being and burdens her greatly. Dear heart, speak of love to her, that she will find it—for herself. I know she will say that this does not pay the bills, but in truth, if she does not fill her being with the love that she needs, she will find herself in more difficulty.
Has she created this state? In a way, yes. But tell her she is not responsible. She needs to separate from that and understand the pain, that it created its own being within her, and needs to be healed. She needs to cry a thousand tears. She needs to hear her pain. She needs to embrace who she is, a beautiful being, a gentle, wonderful mother that has helped her children grow strong. She is not a burden. She needs to take the time to pay attention to her own being, to love it. Then she will have no difficulty receiving that that she needs.
So in answer to her question about money, she does seem to need some financial support...
The state that she is in now, there will never be enough money to heal. Do you understand what I speak?
Not really.
She has a great need within her. A need to heal herself, a need to hear herself. A need to be seen and to be heard. In many ways she flails about in many directions trying to find something to do it. If she will do this for herself, then she will know that she has every right to ask for anything she needs. But doing it in the state she is in now only burdens her more so, and will draw to her all this angst that she is only feeling about herself.
So when a person loves themselves and values themselves then they are able to ask for what they need without feeling they are a burden or feeling guilty.
Yes, my child, that is exactly what I am trying to say. She has a whirlwind of pain around her, and some have pulled away because of it. And she does not want to lose anyone else, but she does not know how to heal that pain. She can do it by being still, by hearing that pain in the very centre of her body that is truly calling out. She does need to go back to old times, to old words, to find out how it insulted her very being. And that is why she will be sure that that will be thrown at her again. For she is still back there in that pain. Yes, she has assumed many roles and moved forward in many ways—but not in that stage of pain and that is what limits her now from having that that she needs.
And so to move forward she has to feel the pain? And cry the tears?
Yes. She had many burdens then and felt she had to move forward and not show anyone the pain she was in. And yet everyone saw it, except her. The bandages just get bigger and bigger until they prevent the ability to walk. The body is a wonderful tool, it will bring you to that place of growth, time and and time again. It is not separate from the spirit; it is an amazing union, each knowing what must be done.
There is a part of her very spirit that she brought forward into this life, that she had a promise with that being. The promise was unfulfilled, but she didn't know how to move forward. The promise can be done in another time. Growth does not stop. Sometimes in the physical world, through the conscious and subconscious mind, and the union of free will and spirit, things can get confused. She did not choose to be in this state of no growth but it has occurred. She needs to love herself as we love her, and then she will choose to heal.
She will say “well how will I pay for this?” There is a way. If she chooses, it will come to her. Tell her she is surrounded with love, to allow it, to receive it, to be it.
